FROM ANTHONY RADBILL

Greetings,

POCAHONTAS

When Duke William and his Norman troops invaded Anglo-Saxon England in 1066 one of his baronial retainers was De Hoghton ( at times spelled

De Houghton). As a recompense for his sterling services he was awarded land in Lancashire and a castle named Hoghton Tower was constructed.
What the hapless Anglo-Saxons felt at the extensive redistribution of> land can only be imagined. It is utterly amazing that still huge
swathes of land in England to this day are owned by descendants of the Norman invaders, including the De Houghton family ensconced in their
baronial keep. You might call this phenomenon a self-renewing stock option. Pillaging is an old practice in human history right through to
this day whether in capitalist or communist formats.
Lurching on to a mere bagatelle of 551 years, in 1617 then King James I was visiting his subjects in Lancashire. The habit of monarchs since medieval times to plunk themselves for feasting on their subjects was well entrenched. For some it marked possibilities of frenetic toadying to gain preferment or other spolis. For others such visitations were an unmitigated disaster. One chap even burnt down his home to avoid the honour of monarchical scavenging - and this was in the days before home insurance was available!!!!!
So King James I, a bit of an uncouth eccentric arrived at Hoghton Hall.He stayed there for three days. At a sumptuous banquet James spotted a
superb loin of beef on a table and summoned the dish in his presence. Having quaffed  too much ale and being inebriated he pulled out a sword and knighted the loin of beef calling it .........SIRLOIN. There you have the origin of the sirloin steak. Alas, the  then owner of
Hoghton Tower was bankrupted by the riotous feasting and ended up in prison for debt.
Smacking my lips in gustatory delight at the thought of sandwiches you might think that this food was invented by Americans who turn out
hamburgers, hot dogs and "Subway" concoctions in the zillions. Sorry NO.
One also might envision our Gallic neighbours with their scrumptious baguettes garnished by more varieties of cheese than even a greedy
mouse could ravage. NON et NON!!!!  First of all, our neighbours have no sartorial sense whatsoever, wearing berets at a lopsided angle - at least they could sport a Sherlock Holmes deerstalker. We Brits invented the sandwich.
Modestly stated we invented the modern world and we even invented Americans.
Well, give or take a few Viking long boats who had the good taste to vanish given that they ran out of supplies of Carlsberg and Tuborg and
that the native Indians would not provide a steady supply of ravishing Pocahantas ladies.
More precisely, John Montague, the fourth Earl of Sandwich in the 18th century is credited with  the naming of the sandwich after his title
when he summoned a flunkey to provide him with two pieces of bread with a piece of meat lodged therein.
I now turn my wayward attention to Samuel Pepys; arguably the greatest diarist in the English language and Chief of the Admiralty for a time under Charles II. Pepys accomplished a great deal in  building up the English navy, which in the 18th century was mighty and victorious.
Pepys was never short of the bon mot. One of his lip-smacking quotes was... "And so to bed."
Good advice. I look fondly at my wife and passionately declare......"AND SO TO A CUP OF ROOIBOS TEA."